Blog November 28, 2020

Your Guide to Moving Elderly Parents Out of State

Posted in How-to
Jane Davis

Apart from being a freelance writer and moving expert, Jane is also an art and museum lover.

Once they reach a certain age, our beloved parents tend to become quite stubborn and rebellious. It almost seems like they are giving us back for all the hard times when we were kids and teenagers. If you haven’t noticed such behavior, try moving elderly parents out of state, and you will soon realize that they know the best and they can do all by themselves. But besides their attitude, you will stumble upon a few other obstacles and dilemmas, which is why we’ve prepared this brief guide.

When This Scenario Becomes a Reality, Call a Family Meeting

Sometimes, starting the conversation about relocation is harder than the relocation process itself. There is not an easy way to say that, but if you think that your parents are no longer safe or that they cannot take care of themselves, you should not postpone it. It is not always about mental or physical abilities, but it is about safety as well. If they cannot maintain their household properly, then things like mold can lead to additional health problems.

Make sure to involve other family members as well so that you are all on the same page. Of course, the situation gets more complex if you live in another state and want to relocate them to be closer to you, or to the seniors’ paradise, also known as Florida. The cost of interstate moving depends on a lot of things, from the distance to the type of moving services you opt for.

Family Meeting
Medical help, supportive community, and a safe place to stay are only some criteria you should pay attention to.

Assess the Level of Care and Resources They Need

The main reasons to move should be to provide better conditions and quality of life for your dearest ones. There are some criteria according to which you can decide what would be the best option to accommodate them. These five daily activities are essential for a normal lifestyle, so take a look at them and think whether or not your parents can perform them on their own.

Can Seniors Take Care of These Things on Their Own?

  • Eating
  • Bathing
  • Getting out of bed
  • Getting dressed
  • Controlling when to go to the bathroom
food on the table
Aging has its drawbacks, but it is up to you to recognize them on time and help your loved ones.

Your Options for Living Arrangements

Depending on whether or not they are capable of taking care of themselves, you need to think about where to move your parents. If they live in an apartment, perhaps moving to the suburbs and finding a house with a backyard will be more suitable for them. A community where there are a lot of people of their age? Some of the best places to live near a beach are also a haven for retirees.

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Moving to a New Home

  • Retirement communities – many seniors opt for this type of living arrangement because it resembles their previous lifestyle the most. Plus, since they will be surrounded by people of the same age, they will have a chance to make some new friends and avoid getting depression after moving.
  • Assisted living – although similar to a nursing home, assisted living concept is for those seniors who can still do a lot of things on their own. They also have round-the-clock care.
  • Nursing homes – this is mainly for those seniors who can’t take care of themselves, from getting dressed to going to the bathroom. Nursing homes provide 24h-care and have every facility they may need.
Friendly nurse supporting an elderly lady
Assisted living is a preferred option among many seniors.

Tips for Moving Elderly Parents out of State

If you are not in the same state, it can be challenging to convince them to accept your idea of relocation, let alone execute the entire process.

Explaining to a Senior What’s Best

It is important to clarify that you are doing this because it is the best for them. You have to keep it real and make sure that they got the message properly. Many of them will get anxiety about moving out, they will come up with all kinds of excuses, but you have to point out all the benefits. They will be closer to you, to their grandchildren, they will have special caregiving support, etc.

Don’t Do a Last-Minute Relocation

If you want to organize a stress-free movestart planning everything on time. If someone of your loved ones has mobility problems that will have an impact on their journey, minivans and similar vehicles may be a suitable transport option. But if there is a plane involved, contact the airline to get all the information in advance, and maybe arrange a wheelchair or other services.

Find a New Doctor

One of the essential things about seniors – they require premium healthcare. So make sure to tackle that issue before relocating, and also don’t forget to call their current doctors and healthcare providers to let them know about the upcoming change.

Professional Help and Other Considerations

Out of state moving requires a lot of logistics, so you should not hire any company, but a reputable one that will also provide packing services for you. Your parent’s old house may also require cleaning, throwing out some stuff, or donating, and you should coordinate all those options. Renting storage might be a good idea, especially if they have a lot of items you would like to keep as a memory.

Tips on Things You Shouldn’t Say

Saying things like “You don’t need that junk,” or “Why do you want to keep five sets of china” are not going to help in this situation. Seniors are sensitive and attached to things they have been holding onto their entire life, so think twice before you say something.

Person sorting piles of clothes into keep, donate, and trash categories
Time to find a new home? No worries, your family members will help.

How Do I Convince My Elderly Parents to Move In With Me?

Even if seniors can’t afford assisted living and living in a caregiving community where they would get all the necessary medical help, most of them are not going to be so happy about the idea of moving in with their kids. They know they are loved and wanted, but they often don’t want to bother others with their aging and health problems and want to remain independent. The roles have changed, and now it is your turn to take care of them.

This shift can be challenging even if you manage to convince them to come to you – you have to be patient and make them realize it is for their own greater good.

mother and daughter laughing
Is there a better place for a parent than to be next to his child?

The Bottom Line

Your loved ones are aging, and that is not easy to accept. Nonetheless, you have to find time and place to ensure they are safe. Whether they are relocating cross country to you or to a nursing home, make sure their travels are comfortable and safe considering their age and health. Ask other family members to help – this is something you should all do together.

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